ADG and Greek Week

Each year LMU has a "Greek Week" where each fraternity and sorority competes for points to become the Greek Week Champion. There are different categories like football, volleyball, a scholar quiz, a few speakers to attend and a huge sort of dance competition at the end called Lip Synch.

As a first-time Greek it was quite interesting to see how the other sororities and fraternities handled the week. Most spent inordinate amounts of time practicing. They constantly were going to or from Lip Synch practice or football practice or any number of other items. The sense of importance that Greek Week took on was to the point of ridiculous. It was if there was no other reason to exist except to win Greek Week.

For my part, I played a little football, practiced for about 40 minutes for our Lip Synch (in 40 minutes of practice, we still were funnier than everyone else) and I went to one speaker who told us that alcohol was bad. Good times. Without practicing one bit, our fraternity finished fourth in football, did decently in the scholar quiz (second or third I don't remember), and took first in volleyball.

Overall, my fraternity (Alpha Delta Gamma) finished fourth in Greek Week. Other fraternities were devastated with placing third or second. ADG is going to have a keg party on Friday to celebrate how well our Lip Synch went. I think this has to do with our general attitude. Some people just don't "get" ADG. I'll digress for a bit.

No one who knew me thought I was going to join a fraternity. I even had a prejudice against fraternities in general (I still possess this prejudice, but now it's directed at other fraternities). That was until I met the guys of ADG. Other fraternities claim to be "diverse" in some weird racial sense of the word, but there is not a different more rag-tag group of men than in ADG. We have some of the smartest people on the campus and we have a guy who drinks a 12 pack of Budweiser before dinner. Yet there is an underlying connection between each and every one of us and it is NOT the letters we wear. It's much deeper. Anyone, anywhere can get letters- hell some of the Greeks on this campus hand them out. We possess a mutual respect and admiration for eachother that unites us completely. This acknowledgement completely distances us from other Greeks on this campus. We could care less about our "appearance" or our "reputation" with LMU's administration.

We don't advertise our philanthropy. We roll up our sleeves and serve the homeless. (Among other things) We don't need to make a t-shirt about it.

We know each and every brother intimately. This is why our pledge process is so vital- by a brother are you known. The converse of this is that not everyone can make the commitment ADG requires. Some prefer to take the easier road.

To get back to the subject of Greek Week- I'd rather spend a few hours sipping a beer with my brothers at Holy Cross than few days with a dance choreographer. Our goal with Lip Synch was simple: try to make people laugh and have a good time. If they get it, great.

I bring this up because Greek Week is a microcosm of the mystique that we seem to possess on this campus. We've been here since 1951, longer than any other Greeks and yet people just can't get a handle on us. It's the reason we've been here so long and the reason we'll be here when I have kids.

And they probably won't have us figured out by then either.

Perhaps it's best that they don't.

Not Good Enough For the Loyolan

Having been an editor for a long time during high school of Brophy's Roundup, I understand having to pick and choose articles. However, I'm a little surprised that the following satirical article I submitted wasn't run. Perhaps people at LMU aren't smart enough to "get it," or maybe satire is just a no-no in a SATIRICAL section. Or perhaps it just isn't funny.

Anyway, to preface this- the Loyolan had just run an expose on how the the local student body had technically not adhered to it's voting rules. Most people just plain didn't care, but the Loyolan made it out to be the Second Coming of Christ. Hence, a wonderful opportunity for Greg's humor. Enjoy.


ASLMU Screws Up Again

By Greg Dunaway



This reporter has discovered serious allegations that continue to undermine Stephen Yoss's supposed "administration." Last week the Loyolan exclusively revealed that over six months ago, a typo in the Constitution may have illegitimately put Stephen Yoss and Ginelle Howard over the top, had it been discovered six months ago. Now, I can exclusively reveal information that may even further sink the oppressive ship that Stephen Yoss is forcibly sailing into the iceberg of democracy.

According to sources deep within the evil heart of the Yoss administration "The President" was late to an accounting class by over 4 whole minutes. Now, Yoss's minions may claim that he was at a supposed meeting with a supposed school official, but we know better. He was probably trying to fix more election results or kick babies or something along those lines. His Vice President Ginelle Howard (also evil) predictably had no comment on my allegations (probably because I didn't call her) and is now hiding in her office.

It's time that we the students have an uprising. We're tired of this so-called democracy where the people with the most votes win. I say we institute an electoral college where really important people's votes count for more. That's fair. Or even better The Loyolan could just decide through a committee of Editors.

Stephen M. Yoss, I'm tired of your tireless campaign to undermine democracy and bring about the apocalypse. The apocalypse is the last thing we need because it would severely put into question my ability to write my next column about how Ginelle Howard was seen talking on a cell phone to someone who may or not be a terrorist. But that's for next time…